#wow idk why this huge gap surprises me

[tinybed]

srry 4 longpost:

wow i actually started crying with gratitude because i was writing down the things that my job has helped me get better at, even without intending to get better. i said this already recently on twitter but its really helped me to get better at socializing, and that’s such a huge thing to me… but it almost seems like there’s layers to it, like stages to my advancement in that area that im able to look back on and say wow i really have grown tremendously (i guess that’s why it made me cry), for example i feel i’ve even gone past the ability to make decent small talk, and now my mind is capable of being so actively engaged that im actually able to learn so much more about the people around me just by talking to them and prompting their responses. idk that’s just so valuable to me because for so long ive felt very distant from others, unable to bridge the gaps between us, so i feel really happy about this :)))

what got me to realize this^ was comparing conversations i had with this chef who smokes cigarettes outside by some of the kiosks i work at (i haven’t been at them in a while so hadn’t seen him) and i was actually so surprised to notice the difference in my ability to communicate effectively…

i also have honed some other skills without trying like time management, organizational skills, etc. and stuff like that has helped me to build my confidence a lot. oh and another unintended benefit has been becoming closer to my co-workers, who i don’t really even work alongside but just the way we all help each other and get to laugh and joke around when we do see each other has been so nice. i’ve even been talking to more and more of the park employees and just learning more about them (that makes me happy because i find i get very curious about people who i see all the time but don’t have a “reason” to be talking to)

so anyway, yeah i was feeling a bit down because i’ve been spending so much time at work and i haven’t really been structuring my down time in the best way, thats why i started writing this stuff down and realized how much i have improved in certain areas.

[gaybd1]

I'm originally from the US but have only spent a grand total of like 25 days there in the past 5 years and these are the things that I get surprised by or think are super weird about America. I'm trying to stay away from the political/obvious ones:

Garbage disposals - Horror movie shit right there. Like it is quintessentially American... laziness combined with a disregard for the environment, etc. but like. Those things are terrifying? And really really loud??? Also similarly the fact that in so many places in the US it's not normal to recycle, or that you have to pay extra money to a garbage company to do it??

Parking ass out in parking lots - idk why everyone does it there and not like any other country ive lived in but it probably has something to do with space? still, wild. also just the SIZE of the vehicles omfg

Everyone's really rude and entitled? - I have met very few Karens in other countries but America makes me Afraid

When I went last year I was shocked that people don't even wear masks to like go to the hospital or the doctor, even after there was a huge pandemic there. Like is freedom so important that you want to catch disease??

The bathroom stalls! You could drive a car under one of those gaps! And seeing in between them so easily, I just don't know how I ever did it... Also speaking of bathrooms, there's really no hygiene in terms of like cleaning up your #2s. Where are the bum guns/bidets? We're just gonna smear it around with paper, got it.

Venmo? I guess cash isn't a thing anymore, that's new for me lol

Alcoholic seltzer water? Why is it such a trend? Why doesn't anyone like flavor?

People just like as a rule aren't super close with their families and I know it's a huge cultural difference but it is so wild to me that no (white) people in America live with or take care of their grandparents? Like I grew up living over two hours away from my closest relatives. Wild. Also like forcing your kid to move out at 18 years old, in THIS economy smh

The advertising is so much. Ads are everywhere!! Like every time I step off a plane into an airport there that's always the first thing I notice. Like wow it really is a corporocracy over there

This is very much a thing about the fact that I live in Taiwan, but there are public garbage cans! I feel like most countries have them, but wow the joy of just walking down the street and being able to throw something away...

The portion sizes!! They are huge!! I can never finish a meal in that country!!

[formula-what]

Brocedes time line for a very patient anon

Lewis quotes in orange, Nico quotes in pink, everyone else is blue.

okay first some background knowledge:

Nico is rich as fuck. only child, born in Germany, brought up in Monaco. son of world champion Keke Rosberg

Lewis was born on a council estate in Stevenage and his dad had to work multiple jobs for him to start karting

Honestly I think the difference in their backgrounds is one of the things that pushed them together, they were both isolated from the rest of the kids, but I’m keeping this purely facts rather than speculation.

2000

They’re both 15 years old and are karting teammates for MBB (Mercedes Benz McLaren) in Formula A

Robert Kubica: “there was always competition. But they didn’t fight. It was friendly competition. There was always laughing afterwards.” // “they would even have races to eat pizza”

They often shared hotel rooms at the races which was a “scene of many wrestling matches between them”

Dino Chiesa (their karting boss) – “many times I was called by reception about some problem in the room. It might be noise, or they might have broken something. They would never sleep so they were always tired the next morning”

“they both liked ice cream so much, particularly vanilla. During the night they wanted to eat ice cream always, so I had to go out everywhere to find some and keep them happy”

Lewis would often persuade Nico to buy him sweets

They would have competitions over LITERALLY EVERYTHING

Lewis: “we always had great competition whether on the racetrack or computer games or playing football”

“probably the first bit of competition we had was when Nico used to ride a unicycle everywhere so I thought, ‘I’ve got to learn how to ride this unicycle. Ive got to be better than him.’ I spent all my time outside the go-kart learning to ride this unicycle”

Apparently it only took Lewis 2 hours to teach himself how to do it

In maybe 2013 ish (when they were still friends) Lewis reflected with– “I have never laughed so much than when we were racing together. Nico was kicking everyone’s butt at that time. We had so great races together and built a great relationship”

“we were just arriving and enjoying go-karts and eating pizzas every weekend, fighting all the time and just having fun, whereas now it’s all business.”

many times they would talk about what they would do when they got to f1, made plans hoping to be teammates and become world champions together.

“Nico would say ‘when I’m in formula one’ and for me it was always ‘if I ever get to formula one’. Because obviously Nico’s dad was a formula 1 driver- he knew he was going to make it.”

F1

Nico joined f1 in 2006 with williams, Lewis 2007 with McLaren. And man I WISH I knew what went down with this two when Lewis nearly one his rookie season (missing out by one point to mr fernando alonso) and then WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP in his SECOND SEASON (again by one point thank you mr alonso)

2008 Australia

Nicos gets his first podium, and ofc Lewis is there (he won it) and they are jumping around in the cool down room. Just, two kids who are literally living the one thing they have spent their whole lives dreaming about together. Lewis won the championship that year and oh wow I can only imagine their celebrations together.

2013

They’re teammates in Mercedes!!!

Nico: “every other day there are moments or things that pop up and I can smirk and thing, ‘that’s exactly the same as it was 15 years ago’”

2013 Malaysian Grand Prix gets an honourable mention. This is the race with red bulls good old multi 21 but merc also had their own team orders, stopping nico from fighting for his first merc podium, but Lewis disagreed with it so it didn’t really spark that much tension between them- more the team.

2014

the start of the turbo-hybrid era so y’all know this was good in terms of performance.

2014 Bahrain Grand Prix

They were both fighting for the win and had a collision which prompted a “mock fight” in parc ferme after the race (which I really hope there’s a video of).

Turns out, Nico won because he had used engine modes banned by Mercedes to get a power advantage in the closing laps. which kinda pissed Lewis off

2014 Spanish Grand Prix

Lewis’ fourth win in a row and took lead in the championship. They were fighting till literally the last second and Lewis crossed the line 0.6 seconds ahead of Nico, who says he could have passed him with one more lap.

Lewis defended using the same banned engine modes that Nico had used in Bahrain. Yeah.

2014 Monaco Grand Prix

This is IT. This is peak petty bitch. This is the one people still cry about.

It’s the end of Q3, both of them are out on a lap, Nico ahead of lewis. Nico’s already on provisional pole but Lewis is pretty close.

And then,, Nico just,, parks his car?? He says he made a mistake but the guy doesn’t even crash he straight up just,, rolls to a stop into a slip road. So the yellow flags come out forcing Lewis to abort a lap that was in the makings of pole.

The stewards say it was a-okay but Lewis was convinced it was intentional (and let’s be honest, yeah it probably was) and he even claimed that merc’s data proved it. (low key surprised he didn’t just tweet out the telemetry but I guess he got a stern telling off from mclaren last time)

But *this* is when Lewis tells the world that they aren’t friends anymore. An iconic interview.

Nico then wins the race too, ending Lewis’s four win streak and putting Nico in the lead of the championship.

2014 Hungarian Grand Prix

Lewis has an engine failure in quali meaning he starts from the pit lane, but he does good to make his way up the pack but THEN there’s a safety car which puts him ahead of Nico but on a different strategy.

Nico asks if Lewis can let him past as he needs to pit again before the end of the race, which will give him the place back anyways. Lewis straight up refuses, he’s on a role here. He started from last, and Nico started from pole, why should he slow down to let his title rival through.

Mercedes strongly suggest that his blocking fucked up Nicos race but Niki Lauda is on Lewis’ side so he doesn’t get punished (We stan a supportive father figure) even though he did blatantly refuse to be a team player.

And guys, this is the last race before the summer break so you know Nico was left seething for four weeks.

2014 Belgian Grand Prix

Second lap, Nico attempts a clumsy move and there’s contact, giving Hamilton a puncture and knocking him out of the race.

There’s a lot of controversy but basically it turns out he crashed with him intentionally, not backing out of the corner to “prove a point”. Nico ended up finishing second but was punished by the team, forced to apologise, and even booed on the podium.

2014 Abu Dhabi

For some reason it ran for double points?? The first time in History??? But idk???

Lewis had a perfect start and went on to win it and take the title, Nico had a problem and was told to retire the car but he kept going anyway and finished 14th. Nico went into the cool down room to congratulate Lewis on the championship win, which. cute.

Lewis claimed his second championship. Which not only was huge because of the inter team rivalry, but also because of the large gap between his first win. This guy had lost out on winning the championship in his ROOKIE season by ONE POINT, and then WON it in his SECOND season, and then there was like a FIVE YEAR gap before he won it again.

2015

Damnnn this car was fiiiinneeeeeee.

They do more laps in testing than any other car AND do it on a single power unit. And then. Australia. They take a one-two THIRTY FOUR seconds ahead of the third place Ferrari.

2015 Chinese Grand Prix

Nico is second in a one-two but claims that Lewis kept backing him up into Seb, trying to compromise his race (and help out his boyfriend).

Lewis gave zero shits: "It's not my job to look after Nico's race, it's my job to manage the car and bring the car home as healthy and as fast as possible. That's what I did."

2015 U.S. Grand Prix

If Lewis wins here he could also claim the title with three races to spare (you have to remember back then the title fight often went up to the last race so this was pretty cool)

Lewis very aggressively forced Rosberg wide at Turn 1 to claim the lead, and then there was some sexy fighting between the Mercs and Redbull all race. Nico led in the closing stages but made a mistake, running deep into a corner and letting Lewis past with only a handful of laps to go.

Nico finished P2 and had not only lost the race but the championship title. Nico was fuming, saying Lewis’ move at the start was “one step too far”.

This is the infamous cap throw in the cool down room. Lewis throws Nico his P2 hat, Nico straight up yeets it back at him. I tear up just thinking about it. They grow up so fast.

2016

Nico had came so close to winning and I guess this was just, the last straw. All or nothing. This year he literally gave it everything he had. Lewis and him stopped speaking, Nico gave up literally the rest of his life and even stopped sleeping in the same bed as his wife and taking care of his kids, instead spending every moment trying to get into Lewis’ head. Honestly, I think he might be the only one that could beat Lewis. Just because he knew him *so well*. He literally threw away like 16 years of friendship. But also it’s like, he had to be world champion. He *had to*. His dad was champion and his whole life he’s been preparing to win it too. Tough luck that he raced in the same era as Mr. Best Driver The Sport Has Ever Seen.

Nico won the last few races of 2015, and the first four races of 2016. Lewis had a couple car problems and Nico had a good lead on him in the championship.

2016 Spanish Grand Prix

Gentlemen. A short view back to the past. Nico had made a switch error on the formation lap causing the car to go into the wrong engine mode. So he was running a lot slower than Lewis, who was fighting to claim back the lead.

Nico closed the door to keep him back, and Lewis lost control on the grass, and spins into Nico and taking them both out of the race in the first lap. This is probably one of the most iconic crashes. I’m pretty sure there’s a clip of this somewhere in black and white with the titanic music over the top.

Niki Lauda blamed this one on Lewis (I guess even a supportive dad has to be critical sometimes) "Lewis is too aggressive. It is stupid, we could've won this race".

2016 Austrian Grand Prix

Nico had been struggling with a brake issue all race but was still on the way to win it. But in the last lap Lewis had caught him up and gone in for the overtake.

Typical Nico not taking any shit, refusing to be the guy that backs out and they collide. Lewis took the win and a damaged Nico dropped to fourth. From first. In the last lap.

Both of them blamed each other and tired dad team boss Toto Wolff threatened team orders in future races.

The stewards blamed Nico for the incident, issuing him two penalty points for failing to allow "racing room" and causing a collision.

2016 Abu Dhabi

In the final laps of the race, Lewis ignored team-orders from his race engineer and the technical director.

He deliberately slowed and backed Nico into the pack hoping they overtake him, and there would be enough of a points difference to win the title.

Nico finished second and won the title by five points.

And then,,, Nico announced a surprise retirement during the FIA prize giving ceremony.

Lewis’ response:

"This is the first time he's won in 18 years, hence why it was not a surprise that he decided to stop.” (We stan a petty king)

“But he's also got a family to focus on and probably wants to have more children. Formula One takes up so much of your time."

“In terms of missing the rivalry, of course because we started karting when we were 13 and we would always talk about being champions. When I joined this team, Nico was there, which was something we spoke about when we were kids. So it's going to be very, very strange, and, for sure, it will be sad to not have him in the team next year."

And now they are kind of on speaking terms but not really, they are both pretty private but I think they are at the ‘awkward small talk when we run into each other at the supermarket’ stage of the break up.

[misterbitches]

wait honsetly i do not give a shit if u like couples that i think are dumb or poorly written so if u get offended by this it’s ur fault

but im confused

am i stupid for not understanding the relationship between that high schooler and the old man? like....what am i missing here? it’s not healthy, or right, and it doesn’t really matter. it doesn’t mean no one can like it but i’m like confused at pretending that it’s like positive and healthy or whatever like at best it’s embarrassing and fucking stupid at worst it’s uhhhhh gross and probably illegal (not that it matterse bc crime is BS and this person wouldnt be persecuted anyway so)

like i know these writers don’t care, can’t write, think writing “shocking” things that everyone else has already done is like a big deal but they are doing the exact thing like with every ~pRobLEmAtIc~ storyline—which btw we need to start calling it what it is: misogynist, patriarchal, capital inducing, transphobic, toxic, fucking strange and also just a stupid way to get people to absorb information. like being specific about the actual problems not just atlking around it and alos breaking it down—it’s coercing people into liking it because it’s not about the content in their differences. they barely take that into account. i’m kind of surprised at the idea of longterm positivity in a relationship that cannot withstand that. and people do grow up and realize. 

i get their existence, i get why people would like it, but i don’t think you can sort of project positive things onto a relationship that is simply not positive and is not intended to be by the writers nature. even if it is accepted because harm is the norm, it upholds whatever power structures, so it’s like well fighting against that is the real story. like they exist but it’s not some statement about the lgbtq+ community particularly because that sort of relationship is common (in all communities) and uh not very good like i said and it NEEDS to be saved because that’s what these structures rely on it relies on being beholden to someone that you have no chance in matching at any point. it’s honestly a literal drag!

they dont hvae to break up or whatever but i kind of don’t get removing that reality from them. i mean i do because again this is what the writers do which is why it isnt effective, transgressive, or particularly fun (to me) and it’s so fucking common. it’s just like this IS the norm so it kind of needs to be pushed against.  i know they donnt give a shit but some of the comments im like.... am i imissing something did he like time travel to be an acceptable age or are we gonna accept he was lurking around a fuckin (immature as fuck) teenager. 

there’s def things that i like that i am also like “wow this is so gross” lmao there’s this brazilian movie about two brothers in a rship and they have an age gap and terrible parents and me and my best friend watched it when we were younger so we have like this place for it in our memory but we knew, and ofc back then, the immensely fucked up thing we were seeing. i can only stomach itif im extremely bored and it’s few and far between because IT IS S OFUCKING WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD but they have good chemistry but it’s not like i dont see it. the film exists in a fake world too but idk enough about the background of the film and the filmmaker to know what their point was but i do know that it was a huge deal ther ebc gay and also the taboo nature and it was like. u know. bonkers lmao. also they were just two white brazilian dudes with money, probably some missing class commentary. in its nature everything about it is not something that i like (not reality of brazil idc abt white brazilians) and ummmm being fucking related. but look you know it was fucking fukced up and weird and the dudes did have chemistry. like seriously that movie so gross lmao so like we all have the capacity but im not gonna pretend it fucking makes sense like EW AND i wanted them to end up togehter but i still yell “EWWW NOOOOO NO NO but theyre so hot they have good chemistry OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS OS BAD OH NO WHY IS THEIR DAD OKAY WITH IT OH NO WHAT AM I WATCHING?” and theyre so close it is SINCERELY creepy and the movie is like HERE U GO GUYS and u absolutely do not feel comfortable. it’s actually uncanny because everyone is comfortable with it in their lives that it makes it even more weird. it’s like picking at you consistently, you can’t ever forget. i don’t like that these shows make you forget. they allow you to remove this fucked up background and history and/or traumatic shit from your memory SIMPLY for enjoyment. and that’s not how life works, nor art. it isnt just there. and they say this has meaning. 

idk anyways that’s just how i feel cos i only thought whatshisface was like idk 5 yrs older than him and that wouldnt be better to me but i was rly like this nigga is 12 yrs older than him? bitch that’s literally r. kelly like im not joking LMAO im just like how r u pushing thirty dating a teenager my nigga i cannotttttt lmaoooo like ARE U NOT EMBARRASSED HOMIE? also like on a sociopolitical level this message actually fucking sucks like their marriage is shitty tbqh  lmao it took forever for taiwan to get to where it is and there’s still massive issues with their marriage laws (and what is afforded to people with marriage; just like eveyrwhere. marriage is important because of so many laws and rights and that is why it is necessary not just in the ceremony) so it’s like flabbergasting frankly people hav elike actually isssues or like papa+daddy about taiwan and these bozos are getting married like it’s boring at this point my god

idk

go back to film school lmao

imagine if this world gave a shit about  minorities and poor people even it’s literally just ......fuck man lmao i just cant let things rest. i didnt get this stupid degree and also just live 29 yrs on this earth to be able to like.....watch garbage without a critique so the garbage can continue meanwhile artists who give a shit have a harder time making things like listen kid. WRITE YOUR SCRIPTS. THESE FUCKERS CAN, YOU DO IT. look at this garbage! u can!!!! this is the advice i do not take myself

[jaideite]

hi :D could i request tamaki with a s/o who cries easily? i adore your writing fiakdndncnc

wow so like I got super carried away with it ... but it was so cute to write !!! thank you for sending this in and awe stop your making me blush 🤡

on another note; Happy Thanksgiving everyone ! Hope your enjoying your time with your family!!

edit: THIS WAS SUPPOSED GO OUT ON THANKSGIVING F*CK ME WITH A LUNCHBOX happy holidays !

TAMAKI WITH A S/O WHO CRIES EASILY

— tamaki has learned that with you, positive compliments mean crying

— “Your one of the bravest people I know.”

— “T-T-Tamaki...”

— he just shakes bc he made u cry

— and then he just whips out a box of tissues and then turns around to hide behind the wall while you cry over his compliment

— mirio commended you on a quick thinking move you made and tamaki had to ask for a couple toilet rolls from the janitor to dry up your tears that fell from your face

— you are so glad you keep makeup wipes in your bag because your mascara ran like the flash down your face skdkxk

— people in the halls just stare at you guys because jeez man he just complimented you it’s not that big of a deal—

— “I’m gonna make you proud Tama!��� you blow into the tissue

— “You already do.”

— the waterworks are activated again

— he likes giving you compliments but he doesn’t like seeing you cry

— even if they’re happy tears

— “y/n, please don’t cry love...”

— you just huff and bawl your eyes out because hE cAlLeD yOu LOVE

— how are you not supposed to cry at the pet name like ???

— when you guys are out doing hero work and people compliment or cheer you guys on

— tamaki hides against the wall and you just swallow and start fanning your eyes

— “Y/HERO/N are you ok?”

— “I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine it’s just—“ sniff “whEW ok ok I think I’m good”

— then you look down at the crowd of people it’s all over man

— your quirk should be tears instead of whatever it is

— god your so glad you decided to put a mask on your hero costume cause when you took it off your mask had imprinted against your face and soaked all your tears and the eyeliner you used to fill in the gaps makes you look like a raccoon

— you kind of just 🥴 but keep it moving

— people are kind of surprised when they ask who asked you out first and you reply tamaki

— he gets shy when you tell the story bc he can’t believe that he was that brave and the fact that you cried that much kekskdkfmdn

— it took weeks for him to finally work up the courage to tell you he likes you

— every time he would walk up to you you would turn and he would pretend like he was going the wrong way

— until finally you turned and he managed to keep his ground

— “Tamaki! Is there something you need?”

— he just freezes and starts shaking

— mirio is in the wall thumbs up, nodding and ready to push him back around incase he goes to the wall to hide

— meanwhile he’s shaking like a leaf and stuttering looking back at you and the wall

— your vv concerned for him and ready to ask him does he need to go to recovery girl but then he finally speaks

— “I...I...I really admired your strength and quick thinking today...”

— “Oh...Tama—“

— “And uh...I think your really cool...and sweet...a-and pretty...i uh...”

— he gets so nervous he wants to turn around and run

— good thing nejire is around the corner so she can stop him lmaooo

— he’s shaking and your quiet until finally he just pulls out two tickets to go to an amusement park

— “And I...I was hoping you would go out w-with me.”

— poor tamaki is practically about to phase through the floor with all this shaking

— your just quiet until you make a noise and he looks up

— and holy shit your crying

— the big three are all confused like what lol he just asked you out not insulted you skdksks

— like snot running down your nose lips doing that weird inhale thing they do eyes red and makeup messy

— idk why y/n hasn’t invested in any waterproof mascara tbh

— he’s panicking and he’s like “oh no I did something wrong oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap”

— “I-I-I’m so sorry if I said something to offend you—“

— “I’ll go out with you!” You cry pulling out a handkerchief

— he just stares at you while you blow your nasty snotty nose into a handkerchief that’s gets washed 5 times a day

— “W-W” he cringes at that nasty blow you blow into the handkerchief and wipe your eyes “What day?”

— “I-It’s Saturday...if you...want to go.”

— you wipe your nose with your sleeve and take the ticket “Thank you Tamaki. I can’t wait to spend time with you.”

— then you leave and he’s just shaking bc yOu wANnA sPeNd tImE wItH hIm

— tamaki.exe has stopped working

— anyways fast forward a couple days and you guys head to the amusement park

— ur concerned bc he keeps hiding behind you while you guys walk around

— in reality he just really wants to hold your hand but he’s too shy lol

— so he just fine with walking behind you

— you guys play a couple of stands where you guys play and you continuously lose and he wins most of them and then shyly gives you the presents games and go on a couple rides and all in all have a good time

— he wins you a cute plushie of your pro hero agency and you swallow back your tears

— anyways you guys get to one of those stands where you can win a prize and

— There’s a Fatgum plushie smiling at you both

— you turn to him with a huge smile and go

— “I’m gonna win you one.”

— poor baby doesn’t know what to say bc he wanted to win you another plushie

— he wants to be manly like Kirishima kskdkskf

— but anyways you step up and grip the handle and swing as hard as you can and make it up to seven

— seven

— seven

— he watches your facial expression fall like a roller coaster and he is confused as to why you look like your about to cry

— but no you just pucker your lips and give the next person the mallot and walk off and he follows

— and your guys take about nine steps before you erupt like a geyser

— Everyone is just staring and he’s trying to calm you down but your just not lmao

— “Y/N, please. Calm down.”

— “I CANT BELIEVE I LOST!”

— “Y/N love it’s ok I still like you.“

— you just pause and look at him and he’s like starting to panick realizing what he did

— and you just stare and then start sniffing again

— he hoped him telling you he likes you would calm you down

— but it didn’t he just admitted his feelings and now your shook

— so he’s panicking and your crying because you lost AND the fact that he likes you

— wow you are sister shook

— but anyways once he stops panicking he finally manages to calm you down so you can enjoy the last half our of the amusement park

— your still bummed out about not winning like any of them at all but hey now you have stuffed toys to put on your bed

— he takes you to the bathroom first so you can clean up the mascara that has run down your face and made you look like a raccoon

— he gets you some food too because after crying you certainly do get hungry

— “What did you eat Tamaki?”

— he holds up a chicken leg (food and an actual chicken leg on his arm) and you end up choking and laughing

— he just smiles softly bc he’s glad he was able to make you smile again

[controloffandoms]

All By Myself (P.P./SM)

Prompt: For Jordan’s Title Challenge, “All To Myself”, plus “Do you think I liked hurting you?” + “Hurting you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” from THIS Prompt List.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Banner!Reader

Words: 2119

Warnings: swearing? (Idk if I used swear words, but it’s possible...and most likely did happen), abandonment (sort of), slightly depressed reader

Notes: Jordan’s challenge is literally the only thing allowing me to write right now...it’s helping with my writer’s block, so thank you Jordan! As in the previous Peter one shot I did, we are pretending that Tony is still alive because that’s the only ending I accept. :)

After note: Some characters may be a little OOC from what you’ve seen in comics/movies/etc

You sighed as you entered the Avenger’s headquarters. Each day it got harder and harder to show up for training and debriefings and fun get togethers. How could you enjoy spending time with the old members of the team and the new members when you were working against them? Nick Fury had specifically asked you to monitor the members of the Avengers and the junior members and report back to him about any concerns. These concerns could range anywhere from them not being ready to go out in the field to someone possibly working for another agency. You were, essentially, a mole. 

The worst part was keeping it from Peter, your best friend. No matter how many times you told Fury that there were no problems with him, he still wouldn’t let you tell the hyper young adult. You looked at the statues of the fallen Avengers and let another quiet sigh leave your mouth. You didn’t know how much longer you could keep this up. 

You found the gathered members of the team in the debrief room. Quietly taking your seat, you gave your father, Bruce Banner, a small smile. He returned the smile as the remaining members filed into the room. Peter took his seat next to you, flashing a bright smile. You gave him, what you hoped, was a convincing smile back. 

No one really knew why they were here. You had just gotten a message to come to the compound and meet in the debriefing room. Usually the message was sent by Tony Stark, Sam Wilson, or your father but this message hadn’t come from any of them. As Nick Fury entered, you felt yourself tense up. 

“Seems everyone’s here, we can get started,” he stated.

“Director, four members have yet to arrive,” Sam interrupted.

“I purposely didn’t call them to this meeting. If you will give me time to explain what this is all about, I can tell you why they aren’t here.” At the nods of those gathered, he continued. “It has been brought to my attention that there was information leaking about past and future cases that the team has dealt with. It seemed the information was sold to the highest bidder. This information included identities and files on those in the team. Because of the security breach, I entrusted only one other person with this knowledge in order to find the leak or leaks. Over the course of the past seven months, she has been feeding us information, big or small for me to file away and figure out who the possible leaks were. 

“I’m proud to say that because of her information we have found the four leaks. They are being dealt with as we speak. Everyone in this room has been cleared. With you being cleared, we can resume our regular activities including mission briefings and debriefings. Throughout the screening process, I have only given missions to those I thought trustworthy along with someone to watch over them to make sure nothing was leaked from those within the mission team. That is no longer needed.

“For the future, let us do a proper screening of those we decide to bring into the team. I don’t want a repeat of the past events. No more bringing in someone without the proper channels. That being said, we have four missions. Get into teams, pour over the information, get a plan together, and execute the mission.”

_____________________

You ran a hand over your face as you entered the compound after the successful mission. While it had been a successful mission, it had been filled with people shooting at the team, surprise weapons that didn’t look like much but kicked one hell of a punch, and jackasses that just made the job harder. You were tired. The stress filled months prior were catching up to you. 

As you walked into the debriefing room, all talking stopped. You looked up to see everyone staring at you with a mixture of glares and sadness. As the rest of your team piled through the door, they stopped. “Did we miss something,” Peter asked. 

“We thought about what Fury said during the debrief earlier. He had someone here constantly giving information to him, no matter how small it was. Anything we said or did while this person was around was fair game to be mentioned to Fury,” Sam stated.

“He said that they were always put on the mission with the teams to make sure none of the members leaked information, so we went through the records for the past seven months and guess who was involved in some way on all of them,” Wanda stalked closer. 

Your body tensed slightly. Fury had promised you that none of this would fall on you. That you were safe as long as you did as he said. “I can’t believe that you would break our trust like that, kid. Especially mine. I helped raise you, (Y/N),” Tony’s voice held a resentment you had never heard before.

“It wasn’t like I had a say in it. When Nick Fury tells you to do something or else, you tend to do it,” you finally responded. 

“What, you couldn’t tell me? I’m your father,” Bruce’s voice rose as he spoke. 

You looked away from him and responded calmly. “If you had been a leak, you would have gotten word out to everyone what I was doing. I was told I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t want to do it. I told him ‘no’ multiple times, but he doesn’t take no for an answer. I’m sorry if you feel betrayed by it.”

“You thought I was a leak,” Peter finally spoke from behind you.

“Of course I didn’t,” you turned to face him. “All I ever told Fury about you was that you weren’t the leak. I only told him good things about you because you don’t do anything wrong.”

“But if I had stepped out of line just once, you would have told him about it?”

“Peter-”

“Wow...I actually thought we were friends.”

“Peter-”

“No, I don’t want to hear it (Y/N). Some of the things I told you, I said them in confidence and you most likely told Fury everything. I can’t trust you after that.”

Before you could respond, he walked out. “I never reported everything to him. After the first three months, I focused in on ten people. Two months after that I had it down to the four that Fury was talking about today.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that we trusted you and you betrayed that trust,” Wanda responded.

“If it wasn’t me, it was bound to be someone else.”

“So you just took one for the team,” Sam scoffed. 

“I did what I had to do,” even to you, your responses sounded dull and bland. You were just so tired...so, so tired. 

“I think that’s all of the answers we needed. Majority voted to relieve you of your place on the team. Take whatever you’ve left here and don’t come back, kid,” Tony sighed.

It took you a second to process what Tony had said. Your mouth opened in a protest, but quickly shut itself at the looks you saw on the faces of the original members’ faces. You nodded and turned, leaving the room and the people in it behind. If they couldn’t see the big picture, there was no use in you arguing with them.

__________________

Four Weeks Later

You took a deep breath and knocked on the door of the apartment. It had been four weeks since you last saw him. Four weeks since he walked out without a proper explanation. Four weeks since you last talked to him. You heard someone behind the door and assumed they were looking through the peephole. “Go away,” it was muffled through the door, but you knew it was Peter. 

“Knocking was really only a formality. I can break down the door if that’s what you want me to do,” you responded. You had to talk to him...had to explain to him. These past weeks had been killing you.

You couldn’t hear anything happening behind the door. You held your breath as you hoped he would at least let you explain better than you had previously before trying to kick you out. Slowly, the door opened and Peter’s frame filled the gap. His arms crossed and he leaned against the door jam. “You have two minutes.”

You nodded. “Should we go inside so that not just anyone can hear this?” He moved slightly to let you in. You moved to sit on the couch and he followed, standing in front of you. “You remember when I did that stupid thing ten months ago where my identity almost got out along with some high priority SHIELD secrets? And we thought that Fury hadn’t found out? Well, he knew about it. Two months later, when he came to me the first time about reporting in on everyone on the team, I told him no. I didn’t stay to hear any more of his speech. 

“He followed up a couple of days later and did his whole pitch again. This time he mentioned that I owed him because he let a lot of my mistakes slide in the past. Again, I turned him down. A week later, he comes back when it was just me in the lab. He says everything he did the last session and adds in details of my huge stupidity those few months before. He says that if that got out, I wouldn’t work with the team anymore. I was going to tell him to go to hell, but then he mentioned how much of a danger these leaks were to you and the team. He went into detail about it saying that you could get captured or killed, that because of all of the secrets getting out, no one would be safe. He told me that I could help prevent that. He told me that none of it would fall back on me. Told me he would take the heat.”

You paused for a second to gage Peter’s reaction. His mouth was turned into a frown and he was avoiding looking directly at you. “After those first few months, I kept telling him that you weren’t the leak. I kept asking if I could tell you. The reason I gave him was that it would go by faster if two people were looking for the leaks, but the real reason is because I hated not telling you everything. He told me that I had to keep it all to myself. Said if I didn’t, I’d hurt everyone I cared about because the leaks would probably hear about it. I’m sorry Peter.” 

It was silent while you let everything sink in. You found yourself wringing your hands anxiously. Peter turned away from you and walked over to the kitchen, shaking his head. “So you just followed his orders blindly? When have you ever blindly followed orders? When given orders you’re more like Mr. Stark, you take them into consideration and then do your own thing. What hurt the most was the fact that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. You know that I wouldn’t tell anyone else,” he growled out. 

“Do you think I liked lying to you? Do you think I like hurting you? Lying to and hurting you were the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I never meant for you to find out the way you did...I care about you Peter. I wanted to tell you myself...I was planning on telling everyone after the leaks were taken care of,” you took a shaky breath, “I’m sorry.”

“I am too.” He was silent as he placed his hands on the counter, leaning on it. He tapped his fingers on the counter before looking at you directly for the first time since you’d shown up. “That’s a lot of information to take in. I need to think about it a while. I think it would be best if you left, I’m expecting some of the team over soon.”

You held his gaze before looking away, keeping your tears at bay as you nodded. Slowly, you stood up and walked to the door. “I hope that even if you don’t forgive me for everything, we could maybe start over later on. I understand things will never be completely the same...but I would hate to lose you forever.”

You opened the door and walked out, not looking back as your tears started to fall. It was official, at least for now, you were all by yourself.

Marvel Fam

@marvelite1998

[pinkykitten]

Angel

The Greatest Showman 

P.T. Barnum x aerial acrobatic! female reader

Warning: none

Specifics: fluff, romance, comedy, some flirtiness

People: P.T. Barnum, you, Mr. O’ Malley, Lettie Lutz, Anne Wheeler, Phillip Carlyle, and Tom Thumb

Words: 1,850

Requested by: By @melodicartist612  Could you do a "The Greatest Showman" imagine with P.T. Barnum? Where the reader is an aerial ballerina, and the two have an act together, and the reader discovers he loves them back through the act (body language/words give it away)? Thank you!! I love your work!

“Oh dear, oh dear! I am terribly late!”

Feet stopping through a puddle of rain. Yes this was you, in a situation of being late to practice. The weather contained of gray clouds and the wind howling. Your poor skin was kissed by the cool air. You were just in your skimpy outfit.

“C’mon y/n, Phineas is counting on you.”

You did not want to make him enraged with your actions. Truth be told you had a massive crush on the greatest showman. He meant everything to you. He was so important in your life. He made you feel needed. Also you could not be tardy for the sake of your friends, they really counted on you to make this show perfect. “Great,” you thought to yourself. These protestors were starting to run after you. You smirked to yourself, “piece of cake.” Just then you saw a piece of rope out at a factory. You stared at the object as if it were your prey. You jumped off the wooden box you were on and flew. Your calloused, muscled hands took a grip of the rough rope. You swung to the other side (i don’t need to see the other side...srry). The gap between was so huge but you went over it. You landed on the other side like how to land when you perform. You laughed seeing the faces of the protesters, their faces looking amazed. They just couldn’t help it, it was pretty awesome. You looked at your watch, just as the hand turned you barged in the tent. “I’M HERE!” You announced as if you were announcing that you were going to be having a baby. Everyone looked at your face, your cheeks flushed to cherry red from all that exercise. Your heart beating rapidly and your breathing coming out as gasps. P.T. made it over to you. He gave his million dollar smile to you. You smiled back, “sorry I am so late. I woke up late and I forgot to feed snappy (your pet parrot idk I just wanted that really bad) and-” P.T. puts his index on your lips to shush your rambling, he rubs your lips a little as he comes off. “Don’t worry y/n, the point it you made it and that's all that matters, right?”

You nod, laughing at your silliness. Your palms slap his shoulders, “right! Also, Phineas remember we have that number together.”

He smiles, “you didn’t need to remind me. I was looking forward to this for a long time now.”

You walk away to practice. Your heart beating more strongly now from his comment. You strut away with more sway in your hips knowing that he's looking. Mr. O’ Malley walks up, his eyes bugging out almost drooling on himself. “Wow, what a woman.” P.T. delivers a death glare at O’ Malley, “watch out buddy...she's mine.” P.T. follows after you.

P.T. shows up when you are in the midst of getting everything set up. You come down with your silks.

P.T. takes his hat off with a glint in his eyes. He smiles at you. As you make it down he whispers to you, “the angel of silks. The beauty of a woman.” You grin at him and bend down beside him to get all the props together. “Alright so from what I am aware of you,” your finger touching lightly his chest, “you will be singing, and me performing.”

“Yes, so when I stand here I want you to give me all you got. We are getting many tourists here today, the most I think we will have so far. And I want you to show them your elegance and what you bring to the table.”

“Of course, I was also thinking that me and you can meet in between almost touching,“ you grab the silks doing the move, “but not just yet. It will keep the audience on their toes. That is if you want that cause you know we don't need to put that in there we can do whatever you want.”

“You y/n are a genius. It's a splendid idea, thank god that we have you on the team.”

“Thank you,” you were now feeling bashful from all his compliments, but if only they meant something more. If only he truly loved you like you love him.

“No y/n...thank you.”

You both practiced until you both got it like you knew the back of your hand. You wanted to show P.T. that you were talented so you worked your hardest. The odd thing though was that he did not want to sing the song yet, he said it was a surprise. You were terrified and excited at the same time. Thinking the worst alongside with the best outcome.

“Shows about to start!” P.T. exclaimed.

You looked in the mirror getting yourself ready while the show played. You, Anne, and Lettie helped each other out with makeup and hair. That was like girl time. You all gossiped and laughed while awaiting. This helped with your nervousness and you learned its way better to calm down before performing or else your nerves take over.

“So y/n,” Anne started while putting makeup on you. “What's this I’ve been hearing that you and Mr. P.T., are kinda a couple.”

Lettie laughs and gasps saying, “no waaaay!”

You duck down and fake cry from embarrassment, “nope thats a lie. That's a 100% lieeeeeee!”

“That's not what I’ve been hearing. Why are you embarrassed, you guys are a lovely couple. C’mon ride that circus train!” Anne says while pretending to do a lasso and riding a bull.

Lettie shushes you all saying, “guys looks who watching.”

You all turn your heads to where she is pointing to see P.T. smirking, but like those sexy smirks where he like wants to pounce on you. (yes pls) When he hears his part about to come on he winks at you before running to the stage. Your cheeks turn the reddest and you fake die in the chair. Your body feels like liquid as if his stare, no his eyes melted you.

“I guess Anne was right,” Lettie sang.

“Told y’all,” Anne beamed.

You questioned everything that day. You questioned why did you not arrive later so you would not have to perform with him, you questioned what you fed snappy, but the thing you questioned most was did Phineas Barnum have feelings for you. You saw that Anne and Lettie were done and you peered at the clock. You sighed, “well girls its showtime.”

“Yeah have fun during lovetime,” Lettie coughs. “I mean showtime.”

You gave Lettie a death glare. “Here we go,” you whispered to yourself behind the curtain on the second floor.

P.T. introduced you, “-here is the one and only the angel of silks.” You came down again just like you practiced.

“You can do this y/n just like you practiced,” you thought to yourself.

video is “Once Upon A Dream - Lana Del Rey | Selkie Hom - Aerial Hammock Music Video de Erin Brown” look up these exact words on youtube

Listen to the song with this, (the song is in next line, so watch the video and listen to this song while you are watching)

That's when P.T. sang.

song is “Perfect - Ed Sheeran”

His voice the definition of perfection. If his voice had to be an object it would be diamonds but even that is an understatement. But the song, the words were about...love. Why was he singing this for the performance. During your performance he sang as if to you. You went to his face almost to kiss him but not quite as you climb back up.  He came beside you in some parts to touch your legs, they were like feather touches. Your breath hitched at the contact. Why were you feeling these feelings. P.T. was also dancing with you above him. He was on his knees singing to you. His eyes meeting yours, it was if the lyrics with his dance moves meant that he was begging for you to adore him, to desire him, to want to be his. What was that you were feeling, was that a, tear. Yes, you were tearing up. This was so much for you, all his emotions his gestures pouring out to you like a waterfall. He made you feel as gorgeous as the brightest pearl, and made you feel as if it was only you and him not just in this room but in the world. That was it, that moment was just as if your heart no longer belonged to you it belonged to him. He smiled when he saw you cry knowing the reason for it. His eyes seeing your beauty and just his overpowering love for you, that his brown orbs became glassy. It was as if another minute went by that you both were not together that the world would burn in flames. P.T. raced up to the second floor (like Phillip) and as he sang that last verse (time 3:30) he jumped to you. You both twirled together, you between his arms. You both tearing up at your love for each other. The audience roaring at your guys performance. The silk cocooning you both to make you and P.T. closer. The sight was captivating, it was as if Romeo and Juliet got to be finally together. P.T. sang his song while looking directly into your eyes, “I have faith in what I see now I know I have met an angel in person, and she looks perfect. I don’t deserve this, you look perfect tonight.” The whole room went silent. Everyone was anticipating for you both to do something. You both twirled together one hand holding a piece of silk and your other holding his cheek, him doing the same. You both entwine together, crying and kiss. As your lips met in a longing kiss the whole room lifted up and cheered for you two. Throwing instead of garbage,  roses. You forgot you were still suspended in the air and you lifted both hands to go and grab his chocolate locks. You gave a little shriek but P.T. caught you and whispered to you, “I got you, I’ll never let go.” You beamed and jumped to him more to give him another kiss. Your lips were in perfect sync and you just wanted his lips to stay with you forever. It was as if your lips were molded for his. You both were brought up more to the second floor. Everyone that partakes in the show was there watching you guys make out. As you both let go, all your friends made an awww sound while Anne said, “knew it.”  (Palpatine: do it)

P.T. gleaming like the sun, took off his hat and gave his cane to Phillip. Phillip questioned P.T. while P.T. just answered him, “I have some business I need to get to with my love.” He was holding you in his arms and you just felt safe. P.T. went to put his coat on you and carried you bridal style out the tent. You both left laughing and kissing. The rest of the gang just watched while Tom Thumb interrupted, “so does that mean that they are together?’

[meggannn]

horizon zero dawn

thinky thoughts for @thewritersramblings and @keelificent but i figured i’d post them here

i meant to type this up last night and then fell asleep but 

i’ll start w the stuff i didnt like cause there wasn’t much of that

honestly, there were sometimes moments where this entire thing just felt like a huge excuse to fight robot dinosaurs. since i didn’t play it, only watched, i’m not the one who had to trudge through all the gameplay or open world, so i also can’t make too many judgment calls on this since maybe for some people, the gameplay might’ve made it worthwhile. but that’s what some of these gameplay choices felt like sometimes. idk!

i fully admit to not being very invested in the politics between the modern day kingdoms, and i honestly lost interest in the back and forth of what was going on in the tribes and factions a lot of the time. no matter how hot avad is

i’m still a little bewildered by how strongly the aesthetic and culture seems to be based off of indigenous americans, and yet the main character is a ww and i dont really see any representation on that end? eh

the pros

the rest of the story, tbh. granted it wasn’t very original, and a lot of parts were predictable and very YA lit in a bad way, and it didn’t manage to surprise me a lot, but i liked it all the same because the characters, relationships, and emotions were all genuine and so well acted

SO I JUST FOUND OUT I KNOW ALOY’S VOICE ACTRESS AS MAYURI FROM STEINS;GATE AND THAT’S REALLY AMAZING, I LOVED HER ALREADY BUT. WOW she did a great job

the fact that it was so female-centric was really cool, and that it valued motherhood and female altruism as a concept enough to make that the key to saving the world (three times -- from elisabet, from gaia, from aloy). they actually thought through how a world like this would operate  that is based off of a matriarchy, that motherhood would be valued so much that kids without moms could be seen as cursed or bad luck

i mean that said, for a story that was so woman-heavy, there weren’t a lot of main alive female characters aside from aloy (there was teersa but all of aloy’s other significant ‘main story’ relationships seem to be with men? rost, avad, helis, olin, sylens...). but whatever

something that hit me hard, aside from the ending, was pretty much every flashback scene with gaia as she learned and became a person. along with one part in one of the last bunkers, where you have all the flashbacks of the kids being raised by incompetent ai, and then seeing how they were just released out into the wild to fend for themselves. that hit me hard. it was nobody’s fault, the entire thing was doomed to fail, and it was just so difficult to watch children grow up without an actual nurturing presence, with other doors visible to them but not being allowed to roam anywhere else. and then knowing they were getting kicked out of the mountain because there was no food left, it’s really not a surprise why they were a bit starved intellectually enough to worship the mountain as a ‘mother’ and surviving generations were a bit lost in their new, conflicting mythologies

a lot of the reveals were well done. they knew that elisabet was a key, and they teased her history out in the best way knowing how important her presence and her emotional impact would be, and it hit like a sledgehammer every time we saw her. that’s knowing the impact of your own writing and plotpoints

i like that aloy is not really pretty. i thought it was kind of startling when i first saw her image in trailers and stuff, i wasn’t sure i really liked her look, but after thinking about it, i like that she’s not traditionally pretty, that she just looks like a normal person and isn’t sexualized.

favorite characters

aloy, avad, sylens, vanasha, elisabet, gaia (GIVE ME MORE GAIA)

ships

aloy/varl -- i’m not usually so into puppy love, but something about varl’s appreciation for her just seems so sweet and innocent while still respecting her prowess and their mutual background. and i like how genuinely she appreciates him back. the thought of her ending up w someone from her home clan, who understands her, just seems so sweet. i don’t think i see it happening in the long run but it could be cute.

aloy/talanah -- boy oh boy. um, battle couples? two women who trust the other entirely to hold their own and have each other’s back? soemone that aloy sees as a complete equal in war and in her morals? yes please. (IT’S WHAT HER LESBIAN MOMS WOULD HAVE WANTED)

aloy/avad -- less so, because i get the sense there’s an age gap here, but ngl aloy you could be a queen and this dude knows what’s up, don’t close that door just yet if i were you

anyway bring on the fic recs if anyone has good ones

none of this is as clear as i intended it to be when i meant to write this up yesterday, i think i lost a lot of my thoughts when i fell asleep at my computer last night, but i might edit it later. ok goodbye

[zoquatre]

Guess who really loves MahoPre and practically fell over herself buying gay books? Opinions and general fangirling are under the cut; I won’t be taking as many pictures this time around though.

Not gonna comment on every book since that would just take forever.

In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a pretty huge fan of suzu’s so the gems of this lot have got to be his books. He was pretty silent in the month or so prior to Rainbow Flavor so I was all ??? but it turns out he was just busy drawing all the MiraRiko bless. The third book is chalk full of amazing adult!MiraRiko 4komas. Haa-chan loves her moms but she’s becoming jaded with all their age gap play, even when they just trying to be legit (this eventually becomes more sex play BUT WHATEVER). There’s this one 4koma in particular where Riko sits in on one of Mirai’s lectures because she assured her no one would notice BUT EVERYONE NOTICES BECAUSE SHE’S WAY TOO GORGEOUS (“is that the girl Asahina-san is sharing an exchange blog with??”).

Each book does contain a short little comic (in regular comic form) that’s 100% serious and even those are absolutely delightful!!! In book 2, Haa-chan tries to prove that she can fight on her own so Riko can go back to the Magic Academy and fulfill her dream of becoming a great magician and the feels are too great... Book 1′s comic is hilarious in hindsight because Mirai promises Riko that she’ll come to the Magic World for her. And that totally didn’t happen, hehehe...

I’m gonna lie down, MiraRiko is too good......

GOBOU’S BOOK IS FULL COLOUR MIRARIKO EVERY PAGE EVERY DAY. There are only a handful of drawings that haven’t already been uploaded on twitter/pixiv but WOW the commentary and afterword is worth it. Who doesn’t want to read the thoughts of a fellow yuri clam? lol. And ofc, the final page is the 「あなたがここにいてほしい」picture. Aaaah, how we all wish Mirai and Riko spent their high school days together, falling deeper and deeper in love... ゜･(ノД`)･゜･ I MEAN, the five year gap is all kinds of romantic and just SO BEAUTIFUL but aaaaah they could’ve also been happy growing up together without those sad lonely nights staring at an izayoi moon. ゜･(ノД`)･゜･

I also wish I had two copies of this so I could frame them side by side. (ღ˘◡˘ღ) Why is Orangea so gay and good????

The anthology was also really aaaaaHHHH!!!! Surprise, surprise, my favourite comic was the one by suzu~ Haa-chan wants a little brother or sister but after having a go at it, it turns out two girls can’t actually have a baby. So what to do? Just transform into Topaz and make one with those yellow balls (complete with a “kin no tama” joke). The babies are basically mini Mirai and Riko and they grow up, fall in love, and want to have babies of their own. But what’s that? Two girls can’t actually have a baby? So what to do? Just transform into Topaz... etc, etc. HELP ME. 

And Kokori’s contribution was SO GODDAMN DUMB AND ROMANTIC. They’re in love............ And Haa-chan loves her moms.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The whole anthology is a gem, just like it says on the tin. 13 beautiful, shining gems. (ღ˘◡˘ღ)

There’s this R18 by Tsuburakei and!! Okay, I’m not the biggest fan of R18 and this really wasn’t gonna be different—I just got it because the opening preview made me laugh (”I got Haa-chan to teach me how to do lewd stuff” “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU ASKING OUR DAUGHTER??”) and MIRARIKO!!!!!!!! but it got really sweet at the end! (ღ◕◡◕ღ)

Someone needs to stop maho at all costs. I mean, I really like their art style but they keep portraying Mirai as this one-step-from-yandere character. Both their books have real consent issues;;; Granted, I knew what I was getting into but really... Mirai taking the lead is good and all, but this is taking it a little too far imo. Apparently, they wanted to do a more upbeat MiraRiko this RF but this ended up happening again anyways. *stares into space*

I really wanted Negom’s MakoRitsu book but I sorta wanted to bundle it with a KHU book I had my eye on for forever so I waited... AND THEN I READ THERE WAS A TINY LITTLE BIT OF MANAARI AT THE VERY END (LIKE, TWO PAGES’ WORTH) AND I HIT THE “ADD TO CART” BUTTON AS FAST AS I COULD. And it really was only two pages imma gonna lie down sobbing............... In them, Alice reflects on how her feelings for Mana were always hopeless to begin with; it’s just that Mana was the one who got married first. Her situation’s exactly the same as it’s always been. AAARRRGH. YOU MIGHT BE FINE WITH THIS, ALICE, BUT I’M NOT. SOMEONE NEEDS TO GIVE THIS STORY A HAPPY ENDING, STAT.

Putting aside those two pages though, the bulk of the book was really sweet! I’m totally for this interpretation of Mako/Ritsu—seeing someone through entirely new eyes and all that. Negom also has a really nice twitter thread about this book with some neat insights, like how all the scenes she had to cut out would’ve doubled the book’s thickness.

For no reason at all, look at this ridiculous family again:

LOOK AT THEM. I CAN PROBABLY DIE IN PEACE NOW. ಥ◡ಥ

I really can’t get over how perfect MiraRiko is. I’m just a useless yuri clam who’ll take photos of every izayoi from now until they finally reunite, what can I do but cry for ages......

I’ll be going on a little break so my askbox will be open for a little while in case anyone wants to cry about MiraRiko with me or wants to shoot any Precure-related questions my way. Rest assured that I cry about MiraRiko on a daily basis and am progressing pretty well on things starting with Miyu and ending with Rei. (づ￣ ³￣)づ Honestly, I’m pretty sure that’s my biggest priority TL-wise.

Questions regarding anything that may or may not have been promised before may go unanswered...? idk, anything that stresses me out too much. MAGICAL GIRL SHIPS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME THOUGH??? If not, I can always just rewatch Ep49 five hundred more times and cry to myself, no biggie~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

ALSO ITS MIRAI’S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

i hope riko and her have a good time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)